Mixed feelings – which path do you choose?

Mixed feelings, who don’t have them. We all are familiar with the moments we are starting something new, from a new way of living. Or from a new start to make, or the first time we undertake a new adventure, small or big. Stepping out of the normal, into a new experience. Not always chosen, and not always from a happy place. The more when it is connected with the loss of someone loved dearly. Not always caused by death, also by divorce in any way or form. The bittersweet taste of creating new memories as well. It comes and goes, like a wave or sometimes a storm and lots of turmoil. It is something we know it might happen and will appear, yet at times it also can take you by surprise, at least expected moments.


The more we are connected by heart, the harder it feels to have to build a new life and new memories where the other loved one no longer is present. Maybe even for those who go through a separation or divorce of some kind, both parties might have the same bittersweet feelings. We always remember the good as well the bad times, yet over time, mostly the good prevail. Apparently it is not so much connected with time in itself, as well the way we are still connected and missing the presence of the other. We all know those first times without someone we love, are always the hardest to tackle. Our life is one string with letting go, going through changes and adjusting or adapting to them.

It all starts with birth and we go through all our different phases growing up, which will be more easy for some than others. It also depends on how you can handle new situations. This is part of our character and emotional state as well, which might make a difference. The way we deal with emotions like pain and hurt will also be a big component, in the way we are able to deal with changes and loss. So for those who are having more difficulty dealing with the hardships of life, as to the beauty and love are different perceived. Mixed feelings like the sorrow of loss and the joy of an event entering a new phase in your life is a big challenge. Will you be able to choose for the new way of life, a new experience that feels good and creates new possibilities? Or will they trigger the pain and loss in such a way, you will feel lost and worthless, or disabled to enjoy.

We can accept the emotions to come up and let them be acknowledged, as well to let them go as well. Love is a master key in this process. Not only the love you have felt for someone else that is no longer part of your life. Love for your self is as important as well, for that will enable you to move forward. Instead of staying in the limbo of the mixed feelings, so it may work its way in a loving outcome to move through the emotions. Not holding on to the sorrow and pain, yet to acknowledge the love there was in the known ways. To bring that Love into the new ways of how you will create your life again, will assist in moving forward and through. To some that might seem like an impossible task at hand. Feeling frozen and paralyzed by the intense emotional grievance of any kind works.

Because our life is also determined through our health, not just our emotional state of mind. We are more than just emotions, or thoughts, or physical awareness. All of these are connected and inner twined with each other. Every loss will be perceived with pain, sorrow and we only can learn how to deal with these challenges in our life. Losing your health due to an illness or an accident, losing your ability to function without the assistance of others. All are part of the cycle and all will bring up a sense of loss, therefore the grieving process as well. All the more when the changes are becoming a permanent part of our lives. Every moment we are being challenged to recover from an illness, a surgery, or loss of someone dear and close, we immediately face the trial that comes with them. How will we be able to pick up the pieces of ourselves, and start moving again to create the most positive outcome?

Recovery and training to be able to use your body again, maybe not in the way you were accustomed to, yet in a way that brings up more rewarding emotions and freedom to live will bring up these mixed emotions. Sorrow and Joy, they often walk hand in hand during challenging times. It is up to us, how to deal with them. Even when you are in a process that will lead to a transition, it might bring you moments of joy, even in the hardest times. If you are able to enjoy even the smallest gifts life has to offer, it will be creating the bridge between the sorrow and joy, gratitude for what is, instead of what has been lost.

Is this an easy pathway? Not for me at all times. I keep struggling with the acceptance as well to acknowledge the fact my body isn’t working to an extent I will be independent. Yet I also am ever so grateful that I can rely on the assistance of others, caretakers if you will. These are the things that allow me to maintain a certain balance between the sorrow and the joy of what I am still able to do. It also demands of me to be loving and have patience with myself. These are the key ingredients that will allow me to be in a most flowing movement on a day to day basis. Every friction caused by anger, fear, anxiety, or another emotion that isn’t uplifting for my state of mind, will have a negative effect on my wellbeing. In every sense, on every level.

Creating a new life without a loving partner, or as a single also has its challenges to deal with. For me, these moments in time, every first time, is an experience that is always filled with these mixed emotions. Sometimes the sorrow will be more upfront, other times the joy of achievement is bringing back in the loving and healing energy. This is the path I choose, through the motions that is called life, my life. Acknowledgment and acceptance through the strive, enabling the emotions to come to the front first. Then also see the beauty in it, for the tears I shed are also clearing my soul and cleanse my heart. All this will create space within myself, every time I choose for Loving care of Myself. To be filled with all the Love I already have received so far and the Love there is still to come.

So it will be done.

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Rhea Dopmeijer

Heartfelt Messages
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©

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