Draw the light of courage and compassion into yourself and radiate it to others. Expand your reference points and be willing to journey into the unknown. Have the courage to take risks. See life as a sacred journey. Courage, Compassion, Respect, Peacemaker, Angelic Messenger, Space/Time Travel, New directions, Family, Interconnectedness to name a few.
These past few days my heart and mind wandered back 6 years ago. We as a family were in a demanding situation at the time. We learned as a family, that we had to deal with the upcoming transition of my beloved, their father, and grandfather. We consciously made the decision to move out of our home, to move into a new home. We chose to move into a wonderful apartment which was presented to us, as a Gods gift.
After having shortness of breath for a longer period, I got my diagnosis confirmed yesterday. Apparently, I have asthma which came as a shock. Labeling my lack of energy, as well as periods of catching my breath to my weakened immune system. Looking at it from a different perspective, it also made me realize I have been holding my breath for a long time. If I must put a date on it, I guess it already started in 2012.
Periods with a lot of stress, which were part of my daily routine and life over the past 8 years. Dealing with the illness of my beloved partner which lead to his transition in 2016. Leaving me alone for the first time in my life. I had to learn how to adapt to being single. Even though I knew I am an independent soul, capable of living my life on my own. It was also incredibly challenging. Those years going through all those struggles wayed heavy on my chest, and heart. Every time messages were brought in more bad news for the both of us, it took my breath away.
Yet we had to go on, working through the process together, each in our own way. At times, I had to push through, even though it was to be confronting. Being strong for the both of us at times, to hold the balance between the challenges and quality time. Over my head when the family and friends were coming over to be with their brother, son, friend on a regular basis. Where I needed the rest and quiet time for myself. It also was challenging because of the old patterns that were broken. Walls kept tumbling down so to speak.
The theme of today is the journey into self. Not something we all are used to doing on a daily basis. Unless you know and realize how connected our inner and outer world is. As well as how actions create reactions. We are responsible for the way we react to situations around us. That may be on a personal level, between relations as well what happens around us.
The way we perceive the outer world, as part of our inner, is an important tool. To learn and understand what lies within ourselves on emotional and mental levels. If we really want to change outcomes, it is necessary to look within ourselves. To get to know our own insecurities as well as fears and pain.
Hiding within the personal body and connected with our mental and emotional awareness. If we want to change the outcome of those emotions that are caused by fear or anxiety. It is not a process to be taken lightly. Going within the depths of our inner movements is a matter of courage. Taken the issues by the hand so to speak, in order to get some understanding.
There are moments in my life, I have asked myself that same question. Usually, it was at times I had difficulty focusing on my day-to-day life. Throughout so many phases in my life, I didn’t know what purpose in life I served. Looking up from that deep hole I felt I was stuck in. How to find the energy to bring in that makes my life worthwhile? It was dealing with my physical situation as well, which created the struggle to start my day.
I fulfilled my roles being a mother, a wife, and a grandmother with love for sure. I loved being part of the family connections. Most of all, I loved to be playing a part of significance in their lives. Becoming a widow, was a challenge. For the first time after 43 years, I needed to learn to be on my own. Not just practical, in my day-to-day life, yet no longer being part of our relationship. How to find a new balance in my life, as a single woman.
Facing changes is not always easy and sometimes we want to avoid them. Mostly because we have no
clue what the change will bring and this insecurity can put you on hold when fear is part of the change.
Whatever we are facing, if we can be bold enough to take the next step necessary, it will bring you what
you expected or wanted, or it might bring you the least expected change.
Without a doubt, this is a challenging experience for most of us. Not just going on a trip, explore new
worlds and countries. Meeting other people and smell the differences within cultures. It is also about a
mindset. Open-mindedness is a necessity. Not a luxury. To go beyond all you are familiar with and know is
challenging. For those who call themselves world trotters, adventurers, travelers across the oceans and
seas, climbing the highest mountains will be easy.
We all realize we are living in a world where dualism plays a major part in our lives, don’t we? As we are
aware of the way dark and light are holding each other in balance, sometimes out of balance, yet we all
say without dark there is no light, without cold, there is no hot, or is it just about sensations we feel with
our senses? As there is a difference between being rich or poor or is it about the perspective we look at
those terms?
I have come to a point in my life I have to face the reality of the illusion that I have held for so long. This departure of my loved one is making every illusion I had crumble to the very core of my being. Since we met there have been struggles and issues to […]
