It feels like the day after, in this time span of 2 weeks when I made the decision to bring the ashes of my beloved back home. By back home, I mean in our hometown. Where we have lived for the last 26 years, at least I am. Together we spend so much time with our children and later our grandchildren. We have settled in and found our roots so to speak. Many experiences passed by during our lifetime together.
We had our ups and downs, as every couple might experience in a relationship. We are growing and expanding, we listen to the messages that are being shown. Every time there was a phase of adjusting, moving forward, sometimes a standstill. Both of us had our own issues to deal with. We were a good team together when it came to finding resolutions for difficult issues. Which did not come naturally. It took us quite some years of practice before we good team up in a natural way.
Through our most difficult challenge the last 4 years of our life together, we really teamed up. Our love grew and reached more depths than we ever had experienced before. No wall was standing, it all crumbled down. Our communication became more and more transparent. No stone would be left, every stuck energy was addressed. The vulnerability we shared together brought us more and more strength and courage together.
When it was time to say our final goodbye, it was coming from a place of acceptance and allowing. We agreed to journey together in a different form and matter. On both sides of the veil, our connection remained as strong as ever. It brought me so much comfort to know, we were still aligned and heartfelt connected through our love for one another. We have said all we wanted to say, we declared how deep our love connection was and still is.
So, we had the ceremony of the burial of his ashes in our town where we grew up together 5 years ago. At that time, it felt appropriate and the scenery was serene. Yet after a couple of years, it felt more and more distant. So, after deliberating for a couple of months, I made the decision to bring the ashes back to our hometown. I had no idea at that time, what and if it was possible and what steps I had to take to get it done.
From my first call up to the final one to make it happen, it was in a timespan of 4 days. It was proceeding without any effort; everything was coming together in a smooth way. So, all we had to do was waiting for the inscription in his new stone. To drive up to get his ashes back home, after this was done at the cemetery. To have the ashes home with me, for the time that was needed to get the confirmation, the stone was finished. Date set at the cemetery in our hometown, to bring the ashes into his new setting.
So, all the practical issues were coming together within 4 days. The emotional sense I felt while standing in front of the spot I chose, was a heartfelt sense of warmth and ease. Message received, I am bringing you home. Finally, my daughter replied when I expressed it. This confirmation was coming with a sense of peace of mind as well. No doubt about the decision I made. Non, whatsoever. All we had to do now, was wait for the unfolding to be set in stone. So, to speak.
Yesterday was the day we were able to bring the ashes to his final setting. No more moving, just at home. It brought so much ease and peace of mind as well. As if this was the final thing, I had to do for him, in my present lifetime. Not a closure, the opposite, a new beginning. Moving forward together, creating new possibilities. Even the setting is so close by, I can see my own apartment. Our home for the last 6 weeks of his life here on earth. As if it was connecting all the dots, not just for me, for the both of us. As well as our children and grandchildren.
It was a sober and short gathering yesterday, with our daughter, son in law and grandchildren. This time it was my grandson that took his role during this event. He was guarding me, paying attention to how I felt, his arm around my shoulder when the stone was placed. As if his granddad came through to make me feel sheltered and loved. It is all about these moments we share together, the love we feel for each other. The depth of the loving heart of my beloved, their dad and granddad. Job completed, well done.
So, today is a day of reflection. The way I feel today, no need to be on alert, everything is done. I fulfilled my task in a short period of time. Like all has been flowing during our last months. No obstacles to tackle, just one hiccup along the way. Letting go of the tension that had been build up, making sure everything was taken care of. Planning and organizing from a different state of mind, which is something I know I can do.
Today is about fulfilment.
So, it was done.