Letting go of the old patterns, even if they are not mine, to begin with, is sometimes easier said than done. Especially when these are not triggered over a longer period of time. Yet to emerge when pain and sorrow are a common factor caused by the transition of a loved one. When it comes to organising and planning with more than one sibling, can open up old emotional wounds. Because sorrow is such a raw place, it also turns our inner world upside down. We feel vulnerable and are being asked to step up to the plate within. Leaning on or being depending on the love and presence of the loved one will open up the fears and anxiety that lies hidden.
We can choose how to deal with these fears. It will enable us to grow and expand within ourselves as being the self-assured and authentic person we can be. Faith and trust comes from within instead of seeking it with others in various relationships. Either parent or sibling, this will differ on the roles of importance they have played in our lives. Of course, the influence of a parent will have a great input on our development over the years we grow up from infant to adult. There lies the first imprint on our emotional and mental state. Yet the role of the siblings are also part of this growing up process. Every member of the family will have its own unique learning process. Family matters. The way we grow up within our family will have a great impact on our relationships we develop over the years.
Also the number of siblings as well the hierarchy amongst them will have an effect on our emotional growing up. Big families have other challenges as one with 2 or 3 children. Every step of the way, we are being reflected and experiencing the way the older or younger in line will behave or are being treated by parents and other siblings as well. Each soul chooses to come in this relationship of the parents because this would enable it to grow and be all the best it can be. All lifetime lessons are combined through DNA, ancestral lines, connected with the expression the soul will create in order to heal and balance certain aspects. This creates the perfect setting for the soul and the individual journey to experience those settings in life and family. All the soul wants is to bring in a new and most of all loving way of changing the emotional wounds that are being addressed.
Sometimes we are being confronted with emotional patterns that are not ours growing up in a family. Because each member has its own agenda and life experience we are not always on the same page when there are conflicts to be worked out. Some may be karmic related, others will appear through the friction that appears just by being part of the same family. In times of despair and sorrow, the pain will reveal itself in the interactions between individuals, even more so when it is between siblings. There may be times there is no trigger present that will reveal what is lying underneath the common way of engaging with each other. Yet when the emotions are raw and out in the open, coming to the surface, the friction will present the emotional disharmony that is covered up. Sometimes it is just through courtesy and avoiding conflict, or disinterest this will not show in the normal day to day routine.
So what to do when in times of need the old patterns are revealing themselves. Creating conflict and adding more sorrow, pain, insecurity when the walls tumble down. Even when love is evident, it will bring up the way the roles have been perceived over the years. Growing up within the family has had an impact on the way someone develops a relationship. This is also connected with our inner relationship within us. The way we perceive ourselves in contrast with the other members of the family we grow up in. Maybe being the oldest or the youngest, or the in between. It all had a different impact on the way we grow up. The way we are being brought up and our parents perceived us as being the different persons with our own unique pattern and expressions.
It seems to me we have choices to make in our lifetime how we want to deal with the old emotional turmoil that comes up. During times after a transition of a dear one, the emotional state of everybody will be raw which creates a portal for any lingering processes that need addressing in order to heal and rebalance again. Time of grievance will always bring up our insecurities and vulnerability. Not just because of the different ways we might perceive it, grieve has its own way to express every emotional wound that needs healing. The anger or depression, the fear or the way we felt neglected. Whatever comes up and is being exposed to the open, it will deliver us the tools as well to deal with it. We can go along with the old way of dealing, getting into the negative spiral together where no healing will be found. Or we can choose to let go of the old patterns.
The most important lesson to me is the way things are being played out and directed at me. To see what kind of energy I am dealing with that comes into my direction. The immediate response is to reflect the energy full speed while trying to explain and keeping it to myself what has been triggered. It took me a while to understand in order to see what was going on and what happened in a split second. Even if it wasn´t about me what was projected, my response to it is mine to take responsibility for. As well everything else that appeared to the surface and triggered my own parts. I make the decision not to be part of any kind of negativity. Not those energies that are coming to surface and create even more turmoil and misunderstandings. This is also draining my own energy system. In order to keep or find the balance within again, I have to let go of old patterns.
By letting go of old patterns I mean the way I may react towards any form of anger, disagreement, disappointment, whatever that has to do with my relationships. I am free to choose, that is our birthright. Yet we haven´t learned too well that this implies the right, to do just that what gives you the most sense of peace and love within you. Luckily this is one of the gifts I received during my time travelling this lifetime. A gift that is mine, to begin with, as it is for anyone else. To see through the expressions of anger or anxiety is to see the fear that lies beneath it. Fear always wants to lash out, just out of lack of Love. Most importantly, love for yourself. There is no other way to become whole again. If we understand our own fears and reasons why we need to lash out, we also learn to find the love that is coming with the release of fear.
This is also the mirror we can use when someone else lashes out. Knowing there is fear beneath, and lack of love that creates it, we can counter the energy that comes with it. By doing so, we let go of old patterns. Every time we are being confronted with it and trust our own inner sense of love, we can see through these eyes of love. We then are able to acknowledge the pain and sorrow, to validate through love instead of counteracting. Peace starts within each of us. Every time we are experiencing otherwise, that will be a sign that old patterns are still at work. If all starts within, all the more reason to let go of these old patterns and embrace lovingly our own reflection. This way, the expression will be one of understanding and acceptance, without the reaction we normally would give. Taking one step at a time, breathing through every experience, we are able to let go of the old and embrace the new loving you.
It will take some exploring and practice before I am able to fully let go of the old pattern. Yet for my own good, there is no other way then to let go of any that is blocking my energy. It only can flow freely if I let go of the negative responses and bring in Love where there is fear. For where Love exists, fear cannot. That will be the biggest gift to give to Self.
And so it will be done.
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©