How one word can trigger old wounds
Sometimes it only takes one word to trigger underlaying emotional wounds. Some deep other not so, yet if you pay attention to the emotions it brings up, there is the gift in it. Now this topic has been shared in many ways as well layers, with different subscriptions as well aspect of the energy. Not that it has been suppressed as such, only it comes up through challenges or in this case one word, Family. For as long as I can remember as a child I always wanted to have a big brother. I was the oldest of 3 girls in our family, so that defined my role as well. Being a tomboy I was playing with the neighbor boys, playing football, hide and seek, roller skating and climbing trees as well. You could always find me in the little forest across the street I grew up in. (more…)
I felt the camaraderie as well the energy of acceptance in my youth, because the boys were allowing me to express my natural being. Unknowingly of the deeper aspect of this of course, this awareness came up years later. I noticed the change in the relationship with the boys when nature stepped in, by the way of hormones and physical changes. Although I still had a boyish look when I was 16, this didn’t stayed hidden through my change of energy. From being one of the guys, I became another topic of interest so to speak. My teenage years were challenging to say the least for me. I also made me aware of my natural being, not being part of a group, standing out in ways I couldn’t comprehend at the time. Always felt different from the groups energies.
Yet still there was this longing for a big brother within me. By the time I was 18 I met the love of my life, oldest of 7 brothers and in my innocence I thought how lucky I was to get 6 brothers, instead of 1. Nothing was further from the truth. There I was entering a family with a hidden secret and trauma as well a different take on authority and roles. So I triggered a lot of emotional upheaval because of me being in my own authority, which wasn’t acceptable within the masculine group energy. Family got a whole new meaning for me. As much as I wanted to be part of this family, I never felt accepted nor was I fitting in this group. As a family it looked close and in reality it was walking on quicksand. No true connections despite all the efforts that were made.
So this experience was cause for many challenges, emotional wounds as well calling in my warrior nature. So along the way over the years we could come to terms with the differences as well the way the emotional wounds were coming to the surface. After so many years, yesterday this emotional wound of not being accepted, which isn’t the worst actually, was ripped open again.
I guess we all want to belong to a family of loved ones, as well the need to feel loved and protected, sheltered as well. During my years of working with women in women shelters, being abused and molested, I learned a lot about the patterns as well my own inner nature. You cannot work with people who are being hurt in the most inner core, without having empathy as well recognizing the wounds. Through all the studies it became clear, the dis-balance between man and woman in this earthly 3D world is causing wounds at both sides. Going to my studies I met men and women, wanting to learn more about the way this also works on different levels as well. We all had a common factor, the love we have for our fellow men and women.
Learning the deeper meaning of the connections between our emotional, mental, physical as well etheric bodies brought in more than awareness. It also brought me connection with members of my soul family as I came to know them. The ease and the love that was experienced was a 2 way street, and equal between some men as well, which I could feel as brothers in a different sense. Not in a sexual sense, just the deep love that could flow without any expectations. This was something I knew deep within myself, as well brought into this lifetime again to be healed again. My family isn’t always by blood, it is connected through the heart and soul. The love that can shine through in these encounters is of a new vibration as well.
Yesterday during a visit at my father in law I had a conversation with a care bringer about the way he is reacting at times. She validated as well confirmed my signals and mentioned there would be a meeting where he would be discussed. The importance of a family member to attend was brought up, and she only said if the contact person cannot be there, you can, you are family. Now this was a trigger for me on a very deep level and it brought up the sorrow and pain I had experienced since the moment I entered this family. My longing then, which was destroyed in a painful way, to be part of this family, was rising to the surface again. Although I know the how and the why, this was the residue of my 20 year old me. The gift that was presented to me yesterday, in that one word, family, brought it to the surface in order to be healed and loved.
Triggers are precious tools, we give to ourselves to become aware of what still is lingering and unresolved within our emotional being. Sometimes it comes in fast and hard, other times it is just one word. It was a feeling that drew me back in again, to feel and sense what the emotions were and how I could change the negative sensation into a loving one again. For me, to me, to be held in the loving knowledge, that my need or longing came from a different kind of source. The way we are connected with each other through our heart and soul essence, is one of pure joy. There is no need to adjust, to fit in. No need to explain, because you are already understood. No need to feel left out, because you already are part of. My family of love and light, on more then one level, personal as well energetic, through the veils and other dimensions.
I am loved and so it isI would like to receive weekly articles in my inbox