What is truly yours will be revealed
This sentence from a card I was presented with, triggered my interest as well my curiosity. Because I have been given form to my life for the past 2 years to my best ability. Recovering from the transition and departure of my love in my material world. It took deep breathes at times in the early morning hours to be grateful for the new day. Yet it wasn’t deep to linger long that sensation. It was also the way my body reacts to stimuli and pressure over a longer period of time. So for me this is my way of coping and dealing with the high sensitivity on physical as well the energy patterns around. The past few years a lot has shifted and changed on a more global plane as well.
I have been writing a lot about the process as well my journey over the past 5 years at least. My writing started long before that time, yet not in the way it presented itself to me that summer. I was more and more connected with that other aspect of me, my Higher Self energy. I knew this feeling over the years when it brought me messages, from the overview it had. Something I didn’t had at the moments it presented itself to me. The clarity as well the language were always prove to me about my deep inner connection. I never hadto doubt what I had been written, because what comes through is always flawless English. Even without grammar flows. Occasional typing errors.
So these past few months have been challenging as well through a connection I had with someone else. In hind side it reveals the way I am opening up to the way love is presented towards me, my spontaneity as well sharing my life on a day to day base. What made it a challenge was the feeling it became some sort of competition. Not a natural flow of equality or even acknowledgement. It shook me to my core so to speak. It creeped under my skin in a slow yet steady way. Confused about the way it presented itself. It was the subtle way it was done. Making use of my story and background. The lessons I learned and had been writing about were made a common issue. I know my life and soul are a individual journey. No one else is going to walk it the same way I am.
At the same time, it became some sort of test. Challenging it was on an emotional level as well. I became more and more aware, this was something I knew and had been gone through before. The underlying issue if someone is doubting the sincerity and honesty, will always be put to the test. As well work against you. It worked as a confirmation nobody is to be trusted, because if you push long and hard enough, you will get angry, will speak up, even if it is out of love. This is a difficult path to walk. Because it is demanding, to stay close to your inner source and heart. I can love you for the beautiful soul you are, yet I don’t have to agree or like the way you act.
This is a core issue. Even our kids where anxious or even scared if I got angry with them. Proving them that I would always love them no matter what, yet I not always would like it when they were doing something that was out of the order. Insecurity caused by trauma for instance is deeply effected by this sense of duality. In some spiritual communities you can only grow when you over come your anger. To me the energy of anger, or sorrow, or fear are triggers as well tools which present the gift of balancing and healing aspects that are been addressed. So when I feel betrayed, or disbelieved and it is being pushed to a certain limit, then the energy, the fire will rise. It is up to me to use it in a way that will benefit both. As it does address the issue which has caused it to rise in the first place.
I can only learn and expand in my journey to understand my own triggers through experiencing the energy that is coming to the forefront. In this case, the way I could also sense the energy of the other, made it a challenge. Because of the subtlety it was presented, I had to dive in deeper within my inner self. It also demanded me to be honest with myself in the way I held my own part in this exchange of energy. It was a test of the strength of unconditional love, having compassion and also being honest to address what happened in my perception.
At one point it is inevitable to let go of a relationship that was based on power and empowerment. Love is also part of the choice to make. Because it made me feel I had to chose in the exchanges of communication. Love will never ask you to choose. Love will always embrace all the differences. For me to make a decision based on love, it held both parties. It wasn’t healthy for either one of us to stay within this relationship, as well the need to set boundaries. Which weren’t understood. I will look at any soul in love, yet I also will release and let go any soul which is seeking the empowerment. It is a way of healing, set in love, released by any kind of lingering negative energy.
This makes clear the path again, to follow my path. It made me aware of the tests I have had during my lifetime to get me out of my loving heart into the negativity of fear. I have had my battles and the scarfs that healed over time. Yet I also succeeded to keep my focus and heart to release anyone who is following their own soul journey. Knowing the depth of my Love, it is also important at times, to be grateful as well humbled by the way it is returned to me. No doubt what is truly mine, will enfold in the future time ahead. Step by step it will reveal which direction it will take. My soul is on a mission and to me, it is a journey with many beautiful as well difficult experiences. It has build me in ways I never thought was possible. To be continued. To be revealed along the way.
And so it will be done.
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©