The choice to celebrate life instead of mourning the loss

Mourning and grievance is very much entwined with the different cultures and religions perspectives, as are the way the symbols and attributes differ due to the way we have learned within our own society how to deal with death. How we perceive death as a transition or just death as in ending of life without further ways to travel.

If we can take a look at how we are giving this form, we will immediately discover within the way we are dealing with the departure of a loved one. It is so much connected with the dependency of our role within the relation we had. A parent, a child, a friend, a lover hold as many different roles as well aspects within ourselves. Growing up will teach us through our role models as well society and its norms, how we will internalize these influences.


As we can see through history and the different timelines there is an evolving pattern that shows how the society and culture can shift and grow. Or just the opposite as well. Yet because we are all so connected nowadays through the internet, television, we learn so much more about different countries and cultures. This enables us to learn and share, to evolve or deny depending on the view and perspective we hold. Is it accordingly your believes it will be easy to integrate. Does it hold ideas that don’t feel accordingly, it can be rejected. It is also what appeals to you, resonates from within, the way the energy makes you feel. If it is a negative emotion it will also start a string of inner reactions within. It is only through our positive reaction we can embrace something that is new to us, yet feels at home or is inviting enough to change certain ideas and perceptions.

And so it is with the way we are perceiving the death of a loved one. Can we celebrate the life of the deceased, or is the sorrow and pain for the loss too heavy to do so. Is it so we have to choose between both or is it one of the same coin to be found within our hearts? I know there is a point within, that enables me to choose for the love and the joy I have received more than the pain and sorrow I can feel at the same time.

It gives me pleasure and joy instead of this painful heartbreaking sensation at times. One is not without the other, as a complementary peace that keeps the balance if both parts are equal to each other. Because that is the tricky part. For most of us, the balance between these 2 is gone. Not completely, yet the way we can handle difficult situations, that ask a lot from us, is also connected with the way we experience loss.

Our emotional settings in dealing with loss is often connected to our own sense of being independent. If we are relying a lot on other people to be taken care of, the balance between the two, will often tend to go to the pain and sorrow side of the coin. It is often triggered by our childhood experiences, or the challenges we have come across that demanded a lot from our self-worth and self-love.

The wounded part in ourselves will tend to react in a way that the sorrow and pain over loss are felt stronger. Sometimes it is even possible, that grief and mourning are only experienced that way. It is a challenge to find a way that enables us to rejoice again and connect with the love there was in the first place. The more you can relate to the sensation of the love that has been shared, the more you can connect with the counter part of rejoicing and celebration the life time experience.

The way your relationship is experienced, will have a great say in the outcome as well. Every loving relationship will leave a trail of memories to be cherished and loved. If a relationship has been nourishing and enabling you to grow and expand to be the best of yourself, then you have a heart filled with love. The more you can relate to your inner treasure room, the more you will be able to shift from pain and sorrow into the joy and gratitude that comes with it.

The celebration of someone’s life is also connected with the love and expression they left behind. Sometimes it is easy to just be grateful and see how many hearts have been touched by someone dear. Other times it will take more effort when the emotions of sorrow and pain are coming to the surface again. Then it is about the missing of the warm embracethe laughter together and the knowing it will never be the same way again.

That’s the key so to speak. The way we are able to handle changes in our lives, is also significant for the way we are able to deal with the new experiences that awaits us. Every ending turns into a new beginning. We have to be ready and willing to let go of the old way in order to step into a new way of living and perceiving our own lives again. Same coin, same connection, different sides to it.

At one point in time, in order to regain your inner balance again, life will challenge you to make a decision and make a step forward. Stepping out of the rod you are in. The deeper you will sit, the more challenging it will be to step out of this hole you have been digging for yourself. Then the sense of being safe will turn in a sense of being trapped. You then have a choice to make. Is it time to let go of the past and find your inner joy and happiness again, or are you clinging on to the memories that keeps you stuck.

In order to let the energy flow and enable yourself again to make the choice in order to feel alive and happy, you can connect again within your inner heart space. The coin that holds both energies can be in harmony and balance, it only needs nourishment from within as a gift to yourself. Mourning is part of the process as is the celebration of someone’s life in order to pay it respect and acknowledgement.

We all want to be remembered for the way we walked through life. We all want it to be a good memory and of significance. What better way is there if we celebrate the lives of those who are leaving this material world before we do. What better way is there than to celebrate their lives. By doing so, we can feel the loving connection, the love that is filling our heart and our cells. We are coming alive by allowing this to happen, for we are giving this gift to ourselves as well.

One coin, 2 sides, balancing with each otherkeeping the energy flowing again. It is a profound gift to receive as well to share, as well for those who have passed over as well the ones who are still here in this world. Even if you don’t believe in life after death, even if you don’t believe in any religion, there is this precious gift to receive and to share. It will always benefit both, if you can choose the way you want to celebrate the life of a loved one. It will create more and more balance within our heart between the strongly felt emotions of sorrow and pain as well the joyous and happy ones that are so much part of it all.

And so it will be done.

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Rhea Dopmeijer

Heartfelt Messages
High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©

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