Do you know those moments you seem to see things eye to eye with someone? Or maybe just the opposite? Ever wondered how it is possible when siblings grow up with the same parents, yet tell different stories about their childhood and upbringing. We all know these situations when we start reminiscing about lifetime experiences and the stories don’t add up. It makes you wonder how it is possible you are not seeing eye to eye on what seems so clear for yourself to begin with. All these imprints we receive over the years growing up. It is all colored through our own way of looking at things. That is how we perceive.
What made this topic come up today? Actually it is a theme that is coming up almost on a daily basis. Every time we are talking with someone and we are seemingly don’t agree about something, it is about perspectives. The way we react and respond is formed by the things we experienced through our lives. Even growing up in the same household, sharing with your siblings, the stories change. It has to do with the position you had, where you the oldest, the youngest, the middle? Only child or one of 8, it all creates a different environment you grow up in. If you take your own family as a mirror to learn about yourself, there have been written so many books about it. Family traditions, race, gender or religion, you name it. It all has its impact on you.
Yet is not by different perspectives we are feeling unsettled. It is through the duality by emphasizing the differences as being negative. Negative emotional reactions because we are not yet able to see it as being complementary. Instead of opposite. Through judgmental or mental believe systems we are being thought that being different is not a good thing. So slowly we are learning not to ask ourselves how we have to be the standard, yet how we can be at peace because of the different perspectives. The dynamics and mechanism between siblings for instance are changing when they move out of the parental home and start their own lives. Career or study, starting a family life, all these changes will create more differences of perception. Especially when age differences play a part between them.
Growing up in a big family with great differences of age, as well character and system is forming every member. As it does to a small family, or single parent upbringing. We all experience our lives different, just because we are each one of us a unique human being. We have our own mental, physical, emotional elements brought into our lifetime. Through the different aspects we are learning and growing, expanding our knowledge about who we are. We all need to be understood and loved, to be safe and have shelter within every group we are part of. Either family, or co-workers as well in schools, we always learn through the different perspectives. Let’s not forget how we learn through every relationship we have with our partners or children.
As long as we are in this believe system that we are opposites we will be discussing and disagreeing with each other when we don’t see things eye to eye. Because we are feeling unnoticed or unseen, so we get into a fight mode. The power play starts the minute we are experiencing the feeling of disconnection. For that is what is causing our turmoil within. Mind playing tricks with us as well emotions running high when we are not met with loving understanding. Some are hurt more along the way by experiences and are carrying deep emotional wounds. Others are choosing the power play to stay on top of things so to speak. Yet is all caused by duality thinking and believing.
How can we turn this around in order to be at ease with our different perspectives. When is it safe to be able to say, I don’t see it that way and it’s okay. It is time to realize we only can change our experiences through inner choices we make about the way we are being challenged. As long as it comes from fear, we are in this time perception of either = or. Where either is the norm most of the times. We need to shift with each other to a different perception of duality. When we realize it is not about opposites and more like equals we can turn this around. It will be for the better, not just for the individual, it will change the whole. For every change in perception we make, it will have its impact on everyone around us.
Enabling each other to express themselves from their perspective and stay out of the discussion. By doing so we can create a dialogue. It will be safe to express differences in perception. It will allow love to grow in order to heal any emotional wound that we have. Maybe the pace will not be as fast as we would like it to be. Yet every step we make as an individual by healing our own internal wounds, is creating ripples in the pond. Which ultimately are creating waves of understanding, love and equality. For we lack equality between each other by gender, politics, religion as long as we stay within the believe systems of opposite is wrong and dangerous. Time to make a choice, to stand up and be the standard by creating inner equality first and foremost. You are worth it. For it always starts within through Love, Compassion and Kindness.I would like to receive weekly articles in my inbox